I have officially been on Jamrock for over 7 months
now! I really wanted to blog more often,
but have been super busy with school starting, being deathly ill, and then the
first of three week long Peace Corps conferences. I hate when it’s been so long since my last
blog that I just don’t know where to begin.
I suppose, first, I should say that I am slowly adjusting to
this life being my reality and Jamaica my home.
Although this has not come without much trial and tribulation, I seem to
have gotten through the worst of it (fingers crossed). The week between Emancipation Day (August 1st)
and Independence Day (August 6th) when everyone on this island was swelling
with national pride, I was silently freaking out. As hundreds of Jamaicans were singing Jamaica land of my birth I couldn’t help
but feel out of place as the only (and I mean ONLY) whitey within miles. I felt pretty intensely alone until I started
befriending some locals. Helpful as they
were with feeling integrated, my new found friends also meant that I did not
devote myself fully to preparing for the coming school year and conference.
School started on September 3rd, and I spent the
first week just evaluating the weakest students’ reading levels. At first, I was set to work with 36 (out of
the 80ish total in my school) boys and girls between grades one and five in
groups of one to six students. I soon
realized that I would have to be superwoman to give individual attention to
nearly half the school and actually have them learn anything at all in my time
here, so we cut it down to 22. I have
some students who are in 3rd grade and are challenged to make the
sounds of the alphabet, so they really do need a lot of attention to catch up. It was, however, reassuring to evaluate many of
the students reading levels because while some of them are reading up to three
grade levels below where they should be others are reading three grade levels
above. Needless to say, I have had the
opportunity to utilize all my new found patience or, as they say in Patwa, tek
time.
So, as it turns out, I can totally do this job. I have to admit that I was a bit skeptical at
first, not being a trained teacher at all let alone certified to teach children
to read and write. I have had a wealth
of information passed on to me from current and past volunteers, staff, and
professional resources that has made all the difference. Just the other day, this second grade girl in
one of my groups looked up at me in the middle of a session and said, “Miss,
you’re a good person.” I was so full of pride
and happiness at this not only because it was a kind thing for her to say, but
also because she used perfect English. It
sounds insignificant, but that is the kind of “small win” (as Peace Corps would
say) that gets me through the tough days.
After getting my footing at school, I most unfortunately
became very, very ill. For about 10
days I felt I was potentially on my death bed.
Long story short, I was back and forth to the doctor three times in a
week. I should mention that this doctor
is a half hour bush taxi ride and 10 minute walk up a very steep hill
away. Maybe that doesn’t sound so bad,
but just try to picture cramming 6-8 adults in a regular sized sedan on a
sweltering day when you feel you may have to vomit at any moment and then top
it off with a vertical jaunt up the road.
I was really glad that the first time I had to do this I had a fever
over 100°F so the heat was almost comforting.
Anyways, the very competent (insert sarcastic tone here) doctor told me
I had a flu at first and gave me three prescriptions for just that. Five days later when I was still unable to
eat or even move without assistance, a community member carried me back and he
said (SURPRISE) I was dehydrated. IV
fluids and three more prescriptions were the recommendation that day. Three days after that, I finally felt a
little better, but then my arms and legs had turned purple from a mysterious
rash. It could have been one of the six
medications I was on, but isn’t it odd that an allergic reaction did not spread
all over my body? Nope. Must be allergies. Three more prescriptions still. I stopped taking them at this point. I slowly got better with rest and fluids, and
began to hear murmurs in the community of dengue fever going around the island. Look it up.
I literally had every symptom, and if I was elderly or immune system
compromised I could have died. When I
tried to get the test results of my blood work just to solve the mystery,
naturally it was impossible to get the results and the doctor and the phone in
the same room long enough to call me.
The world will never know for sure, but I am seriously thinking of
having a t-shirt made that reads: I survived dengue fever and all I got was
this stupid shirt.
During the time that I was ill, I discovered the true depth
of the loss of my privacy and independence.
This arose because I literally had several community members so
concerned for me that they were bringing over food for days. At first, I was incredibly touched and
appreciative, but all that gratitude was washed away when I realized it was
only because they thought I had fallen ill due to my inability to construct a
well balanced meal and clean my home properly.
Not only is everything I do seen, heard, and scrutinized, but it is then
announced publicly when concerned parties are present to discuss how to remedy
the conundrums of the white girl. To my
community, I am basically the feral puppy.
They fail to see where the offense is in treating me this way, so I
mostly put on a smile and say thanks, but no thanks.
Similarly when I venture out of my tiny village, I am sometimes
mistaken for a toddler or a mentally handicapped person. By this I mean that I have had simple things
explained to me as if I were not the educated twenty something woman of the
world that I so clearly am. I believe this
is mostly because people think whatever they are describing is unique to
Jamaica. While these descriptions can sometimes
be helpful, I do not however need to have what an almond is explained to me (just
for example). I mean, he really went on
about how it is like a peanut but different, very good for you, and full of
protein. Wow. The almond guy came at the end of a very long
day full of very aggressive Jamaicans saying nonsense things to me, and he was
the straw that broke the camel’s back.
Actually the comment that tipped me over the edge was when he generously
proclaimed that he would not be charging me for his tour guide services which I
(apparently erroneously) viewed as him creepily following me around the market. For my first real freak out in public I guess
it could have been worse, but I was left feeling pretty badly when I told him
to back off (very loudly) and then I realized he was a madman and he continued
to follow me around the market shouting about how he hates all white
people. Good job. I’m supposed to be creating a better
understanding of Americans and this is what I get when I finally lose my cool
to the millionth pest. Anyhow, the good
news is he did not get aggressive towards me.
This is something I really should be more cognizant of before opening my
mouth in an unkind way in this country.
There have been more violent crimes than usual committed
against women, gays, and even teachers in the JA news lately. If you haven’t heard about it, I will not
encourage you to investigate, but just know that I live in a very small and
very safe community where the last crime committed was a theft about 5 years
ago and is still mentioned weekly to remind the children and other community
members of the importance of safety. Also
regarding the recent hurricane, never fear Peace Corps is here. They evacuate us in the event of any real
danger and their threshold for that is certainly much lower than mine is. In addition, we PCV’s have a fantastic Safety
and Security Coordinator (SSC) to advise us in the safety department. She was, in fact, voted the best Peace Corps
SSC in the world.
On that note, I nearly forgot to say a bit about our Peace
Corps Early Service Conference. Well, it was a combination Project Design and Management workshop as well as ESC. The PDM part was
not a lot of new information for the PCV’s but provided good reminders of stuff
I already know and ESC was a great time to reconnect with my fellow volunteers, not to
mention an awesome opportunity for a member of my community. It was a weeklong seminar at an all inclusive
resort (oh, woe is me) in which we had to plan a project (outside my day to day
job of making the world more literate) with a Jamaican project partner that we want to implement in our
community. This project is based on the
information in that report for Peace Corps I did so much belly aching about in
September. I had to do a great deal of
research on the current position of my community, its history, and the wants
and needs of its members as well as the feasibility of said project given the
resources available. With that
foundation, my community partner and I began planning to complete construction
on a library and resource center that the last PCV in my village started and
could not complete due to funding falling through some years ago. The idea is to solve several community issues
in one project. In one fell swoop we
will create a library, a computer lab, a place for the youth to gather and more
space for the primary school as well as have a facility to initiate adult
education classes and thereby create better job opportunities by giving people
new skills. The scope of this project is
huge and just thinking about it kind of scares me, but I gained the support of
the community at the last PTA meeting and will be starting the planning and
grant writing process very soon. Hopefully
I will have more to report in my next blog, but at this point I will consider
myself lucky if I see this project to completion before May 2014 when I
leave. Although, at this rate I may be
half way through the project by the next time I blog. Just kidding!
I will make a serious effort to be at least monthly with my updates. Thanks for hanging in there for such a long
post!
